incredible post as always Dhruv. So true, all success is bottlenecked by self-trust. People who believe their own words are able to stick to internally imposed deadlines and able to execute, while the rest of us procrastinators keep starting and restarting the same projects </3 next time I feel resistance I'll just remind myself that I CAN do this and that I WANT to do it :)
Reminds me of Existential Kink. I have a similar issue;never got anything in high school done before the last minute, then failed college cause you can't do that at the last minute. Going to think about these.
That book definitely shaped my thinking! I think my experience was a slightly different angle that reinforced the same point -- change comes most naturally when you release your resistance to the things that make you suffer.
This is very good. Thanks for sharing. I’m just discovering your writing, so pardon my following suggestion but I feel like I ought to make it.
I’m not a huge fan of medicalizing discourses but please consider that you fall into the spectrum of folks that we call ADHD. Perhaps you know that and I’m an arrogant prick for raising the issue in this way. Or, perhaps you’re resistant to such diagnosis. In any case, I can feel your descriptions in my bones. Zen philosophy has helped shaped my understanding here, too, but sadly I am not so far along on my journey of acceptance and recovery, despite being “diagnosed” well over 10 years ago.
I’ll get there. ADHD burnout is so real. You’ve described it very well, whether or not you accept the idiom. Thanks.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience! I've definitely empathized with many experiences that ADHD and ADHD-adjacent folks have shared, and I'm glad my description resonated.
Best of luck on your journey! Sending you my best wishes :)
Maybe resistance isn't the best word; I used that as a bucket to capture the feelings associated with fear of failure, fear of incompletion, stress + pressure, etc, and I habitually met those feelings with a lot of resistance, even though a previously subconscious part of me believed that engineering those feelings would be the only way to get me to do something (since I typically only acted under intense pressure earlier on).
incredible post as always Dhruv. So true, all success is bottlenecked by self-trust. People who believe their own words are able to stick to internally imposed deadlines and able to execute, while the rest of us procrastinators keep starting and restarting the same projects </3 next time I feel resistance I'll just remind myself that I CAN do this and that I WANT to do it :)
our only limit is always our self-belief :)
Reminds me of Existential Kink. I have a similar issue;never got anything in high school done before the last minute, then failed college cause you can't do that at the last minute. Going to think about these.
That book definitely shaped my thinking! I think my experience was a slightly different angle that reinforced the same point -- change comes most naturally when you release your resistance to the things that make you suffer.
This is very good. Thanks for sharing. I’m just discovering your writing, so pardon my following suggestion but I feel like I ought to make it.
I’m not a huge fan of medicalizing discourses but please consider that you fall into the spectrum of folks that we call ADHD. Perhaps you know that and I’m an arrogant prick for raising the issue in this way. Or, perhaps you’re resistant to such diagnosis. In any case, I can feel your descriptions in my bones. Zen philosophy has helped shaped my understanding here, too, but sadly I am not so far along on my journey of acceptance and recovery, despite being “diagnosed” well over 10 years ago.
I’ll get there. ADHD burnout is so real. You’ve described it very well, whether or not you accept the idiom. Thanks.
Thank you for reading and for sharing your experience! I've definitely empathized with many experiences that ADHD and ADHD-adjacent folks have shared, and I'm glad my description resonated.
Best of luck on your journey! Sending you my best wishes :)
"So my body took that as a given and started engineering resistance to try to propel me to act, "
sorry I'm a bit confused here...it feels counter intuitive to say that resistance compels you to act? I thought it was the opposite?
Maybe resistance isn't the best word; I used that as a bucket to capture the feelings associated with fear of failure, fear of incompletion, stress + pressure, etc, and I habitually met those feelings with a lot of resistance, even though a previously subconscious part of me believed that engineering those feelings would be the only way to get me to do something (since I typically only acted under intense pressure earlier on).